Kids are notoriously creative when it comes to sneaking around — whether it’s smuggling candy, hiding bad grades, or pulling off a “harmless” prank. But as much as they think they’re masterminds, parents usually catch on fast.
1.
Every night, my 9-year-old talks in her sleep, or at least I thought she did.
Last night, I got up to use the bathroom and heard her window open. I stopped and listened. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, quietly talking to someone outside. She didn’t seem scared.
Then, I noticed a small cat sitting on the windowsill, listening intently. He was filthy and super skinny, so I could instantly tell he was a stray.
The next day, I “accidentally” bought a bag of cat food. Now she sneaks a handful of food into her room every night, and the kitty is extremely grateful for it.
2.
My 4yo daughter thinks I don’t know she’s “stealing” broccoli florets to eat raw. She also apparently thinks it regrows in the fridge.3.
My daughter thinks I don’t know that she’s watching YouTube shorts on the TV because she’s closed the living room door.
Living room door closed = YouTube shorts being watched.
4.
When one of my gremlins steals a snack from the cupboard, they always steal three and give the other two to their siblings.
They don’t do it often, and 95% of the time, ask anyway. Though my middle gremlin will usually pull me aside to whisper to me not to tell dad and asks if I can eat it too (I have dietary requirements), I know when I’m being offered secret snacks their dad said no.
5.
My poor sweet kindergartener confessed with tears in his eyes that his imaginary friend wasn’t real. That he’d never been real. That he’d been lying.
I had a hard time keeping a straight face as he poured his heart out about the guilt that had been eating him alive for being a “lying liar who lied to his mom.”Then I hugged him and fessed up that I knew.
6.
My 18-month-old thinks he’s fooling us when we tell him to eat some of his food, and he puts it up to his mouth and then slyly drops it.
7.
They read for an hour or two after lights out.
They think that I don’t know and they are being sneaky. I am surprised that they haven’t figured out that their flashlight hasn’t run out of batteries in the last three years.
8.
I know that my kid thinks he got all mine (his father’s) and his mother’s social media accounts including my other Reddit under his watch, I know he spies on me, but he doesn’t know that I know he is spying on me, basically, I’m spying on a little spy.
9.
He compulsively rips his socks, discreetly throws them out and steals dad’s socks.